Friend for Life- The Reward of Small Talk - The Warrior's Journey®

Friend for Life- The Reward of Small Talk

Author: Brenda Pace, Author of "Journey of a Military Wife"

Road to Tokyo. Photo by U.S. Coast Guard is licensed under CC By 2.0

Each time we moved, though, I would polish my “Most Courteous” crown and begin the process of introducing myself—again.

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. (1 Samuel 18:1)

My birthplace is Tennessee. A southern upbringing instilled the importance of courtesy. (I was actually voted “Most Courteous” in high school.) When I became a military wife, I knew how to be “sweet” and courteous. I could match anyone’s small talk and smile no matter what I was thinking. But y’all, I’m a girl who is not content with surface relationships and I wondered how that would jive with the transient nature of military life. Small talk can get tiresome but it is the initial step toward friendship.

I quickly learned that the shared experience of military life is rich soil for friendship to flourish. The idea of moving and going through the process of making friends—again—can be exhausting. I felt that way with every PCS move. I often wished I could hand out a “friend résumé” to offset the initial awkward new girl stage and skip the small talk. Each time we moved, though, I would polish my “Most Courteous” crown and begin the process of introducing myself—again.

Do you know what happened? I found other military wives who wanted to go deeper than small talk. Over the years, I connected with women who shared my joys and frustrations and I made lifelong friends who are like family.Staff Sgt. Patricia Sarabia, a Dallas, Texas, native who works in the G6 signal section, Division Special Troops Battalion, 4th Infantry Division, Multi-National Division - Baghdad, shows her son Simon, who attends Meadows Elementary School on Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas, a card that she received from in the mail with him over video teleconference on Dec. 18.

1 Samuel 18:1 notes that Jonathan’s soul was knit to the soul of David. The use of the word “knit” implies a family-like relationship.1 The story would make more sense if Jonathan looked at David as a rival, since David had been anointed to be the next king. After all, as King Saul’s son, Jonathan was next in line for the throne. Out of jealousy, King Saul wanted to kill David, yet his son made a covenant with David to treat him as a brother. Here, in David’s first assignment, he met his best friend for life.

This transient military lifestyle seems the most unlikely place to nurture deep and lasting relationships, but our overlapping lives bind us together. Not everyone will be open to being a friend, but I guarantee someone will be looking for a friend like you! Sister, a new location is a new opportunity for new friendships. If you stay in the military long enough, you may begin to chronicle the places you live by the friends you make in each place. Military installations may close down, but the friends you make will last a lifetime.


Take some time today and thank God for the lifelong friends you have made in the military. Go one step further and connect with one or more of these friends via text, email, or, better yet, a written note.

Prayer for the Journey

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of friendship. Thank you for this military life that has brought me friends who feel like family. Bless my friends today and continue to knit our hearts together. Amen.

1 John Woodhouse, 1 Samuel: Looking for a Leader (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2008), 348.

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