No Communication, No Marriage - The Warrior's Journey®

No Communication, No Marriage

Author: Chaplain, COL Scott McChrystal, USA (Ret.)

Virginia Guard chaplain support teams support military personnel in Louisianna. Photo by Coast Guard is licensed under CC By 2.0

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  (Proverbs 18:21)

Good communication is essential for a solid marriage, but it doesn’t happen automatically. It requires hard work by both partners on a consistent basis. You’ve most likely heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me.” I recall hearing that as a kid, but somehow I never became convinced. Now I know why — it’s simply not true. Words can bless, but they can also hurt and even destroy.

Look at this verse from Proverbs. It says words have the power of life and death. In counseling with married couples over the years, I’ve been struck by the powerful impact of the spoken word. During stressful situations, husbands and wives have exchanged hateful, damaging words with each other. Repeated over time, this kind of communication can kill a marriage. Communication doesn’t have to go this way. Things can change. I suggest three initial steps.

First, recognize the amazing power of your words — even life and death.

Secondly, choose words that bring life to your mate.

Third, ask the Lord to help you.

He will.

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