Tasers and Toxic Words

The story of a mother whose seventeen-year-old boy who didn’t want to get up to attend Easter Sunday services is hardly news.

Every church-attending parent can certainly identify with this woman. It’s not easy mustering the kiddos on a Sunday morning, getting them dressed, and loaded in the car. All this effort to try and get to church on time. But not many parents would go to the extreme measures this woman employed to motivate her son. The mom, 40-year-old Sharron Dobbins, used a Taser to get her son out of bed.

Tasers and Motivation

Now some might think a Taser would be a good motivational tool for a rebellious child. But I assure you, it is not. First, it is child abuse/endangerment. A Taser delivers a jolt of 50,000 volts and leaves large welts on its victim. Police officers arrested Mrs. Dobbins. But she was later released on the condition that all weapons were removed from her home—including Tasers.

Another objection to using Tasers to motivate stubborn children is that Tasers to not motivate anyone. They do the very opposite. Law enforcement personnel use Tasers to immobilize suspects who are aggressive or resistant to arrest. Tasers paralyze their victims and drop them to the ground. So, if someone is physically attacking you, then you might want to consider using a Taser. But if you’re trying to get your child motivated, please don’t use a Taser.

You know, the counter-productive results of using a Taser to motivate children reminds me of the same effect our hurtful words have. Too many parents, supervisors, and leaders employ criticism, sarcasm, and derision to motivate others. Such a strategy might have a short-term effect in getting people to do what we want. But those hurtful practices will ultimately generate resentment and resistance within the victim. More likely, such stinging words will completely immobilize subordinates and kill their spirit.

Good Motivators

No. Praise, affirmation, and encouragement are the big motivators which every wise leader must employ. They build up the soul and make subordinates want to serve. Tom Rath is an American author and consultant on employee engagement. On this topic he stated, “Employees who report receiving recognition and praise within the last seven days show increased productivity, get higher scores from customers, and have better safety records. They’re just more engaged at work.”

Praise, affirmation, and encouragement are the big motivators which every wise leader must employ.

Pastor, psychologist, and Christian author, Cecil Osborne, believed that for every criticism a person receives, he or she needs nine to ten positive affirmations to mend what criticism has broken. He went on to write, “Perhaps once in a hundred years a person may be ruined by excessive praise, but surely once every minute someone dies inside for lack of it.” The Scripture says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Prov. 16:24). Don’t use Tasers and toxic words on other people. Use praise, affirmation, and encouragement in dealing with others. They will make you effective as a parent and a leader.

PRAYER:

Dear Father in heaven, make me an instrument of Your peace and healing. Breathe healing and encouragement into my own heart, that I might be able to share it with others. Give me a kind and sensitive heart that feels the hurts and senses the needs of other people. Use me, O God, to breathe the breath of life into the hearts of others. Amen.