Below are some additional interactions on the article: Losing Friends. Read it first.
See the areas mentioned in the story of David’s lament over Saul and Jonathan. Select 2 Samuel for the Book, and 1 for the chapter.
The word lament comes from the Latin lamentari, from lamenta (plural) which means ‘weeping, wailing.’ There is a whole book in the Bible called Lamentations where great grief is expressed over the fall of Jerusalem in 587/6 B.C. because of her sin.
Which of the following strategies have you used to cope when separation or loss of a friend has happened?
- Cried for days
- Talked to my parents
- Got angry and raged on somebody else
- Listened to loud, clashing music
- Listened to sad music
- Talked to my other friends
- Sucked it up and kept going with my life
- Wrote in my journal
- Talked with a youth worker (like Club Beyond leader or youth services)
- Talked to God about what I was feeling
- Made plans to get back together
- Texted or Facebooked them within 24 hours
- Talked to a chaplain or counselor
Take a shot at writing your own story of losing or being separated from a friend. Include your thoughts, feelings, motives, etc. Think of other military brats as your target audience when you write.
Jude 1:1–25—Jude reaches out to friends in Christ in the various churches by writing and keeping connected.
2 Corinthians 4:9—The apostle Paul writes that, even when distant from friends, Christ is always near as a friend.
Romans 16:1–2—Paul introduces Phoebe as she travels to Rome and asks believers there to welcome her as a friend.
Colossians 4:7–9—With joy, Paul sends his friends back to other friends to cheer them up.
Proverbs 18:24—Sometimes friendships end, and that’s OK because of other friends.
Acts 24:22–23—Paul’s friends are allowed to take care of him after he had been taken away to prison
Small group guide:
This YouTube clip is from Lord of the Rings when the Frodo’s band of brothers watch their inspiring friend, Gandalf, die a cruel death after protecting them. Listen for the grief-stricken cry from Frodo and the lamenting song as they all contemplate their loss when they exit the cave onto the rocks. Their mournful faces tell the pain, a pain, which you, too, may have entered into for your own loss of a friend!
Large group guide:
- If David is referred to as a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14 and other places), then what things can you identify about God’s heart by observing David’s song for Saul and Jonathan? How does that make you feel about God understanding your pain?
- Think about the most difficult part of being separated from friends for you. Now develop a specific strategy to address that aspect of separation and the pain you feel from it.
- Plan a reunion for yourself and a friend. Make it as elaborate or simple as it needs to be. See if you can get your parents to agree to helping you make this happen. Be sure to communicate the significance this has for you.
- Write your own poem or song of lament about losing a friend or the distance you feel. Upload it to this site.
Have you ever had to end a friendship? This is also a type of loss. Describe the events that led up to ending your friendship with someone. What advice would you give someone who was in a similar situation?
Can you come up with advice from the Bible that may be the same or different?