Below are some additional interactions on the article: Everybody Lies. Read it first.
early 13c., “to dread, fear,” from Old French doter “doubt, be doubtful; be afraid,” from Latin dubitare “to doubt, question, hesitate, waver in opinion” (related to dubius “uncertain;” see dubious), originally “to have to choose between two things.”
The sense of “fear” developed in Old French and was passed on to English. Meaning “to be uncertain” is attested in English from c.1300. The -b- was restored 14c. by scribes in imitation of Latin. Replaced Old English tweogan (noun twynung), from tweon “two,” on notion of “of two minds” or the choice of two implied in Latin dubitare (cf. German zweifel “doubt,” from zwei “two”).
It’s interesting how the word doubt comes from “being of two minds.” That’s exactly what we as Christians often struggle with. We have our earthly minds that are selfish, sinful, and short sighted and then there is the heavenly mind we are given when we commit to following Christ. It shows us the bigger picture and how we get to play a part in the work that God is doing to bring his heavenly kingdom down to earth. That mind is holy and full of grace, forgiveness, and love. So when you feel doubtful, your two minds are actually warring against one another and I hope you realize that making the choice to respond with the redeemed heavenly one is what is going to bring about peace and restoration rather than a moment of revenge that you might only enjoy temporarily. Pretty amazing!
This Scripture can be very useful during times of doubt. When you are not sure what to do and are feeling overcome with the advice from the world to get even and inflict pain for pain, focus on what this verse tells you to do—particularly the part about drowning out the doubt and vengeance in your head with things that are good and deserve praise (verse 8) It might be a good idea to memorize this! Or at least try putting it somewhere you will see often and make sure to read it daily.
This isn’t an actual quiz but it is a good list of behaviors to go over if you have some suspicions about your friend’s honesty. The goal is never to be a person who walks around searching for betrayal and lying—that sort of life can be really exhausting and detrimental—but it is wise to educate yourself on common signs of deception, how to respond (Scripture has a lot of good advice!), and continue to develop resilience in your life. So take a look at this article from Parade and also read through 1 Samuel chapter 24 to see one of the times David had to handle King Saul lying to him and how he chose to follow God’s desires rather than the standards of the world.
James 1:2–3, 12
Small group guide:
Large group guide:
- Write a name and/or a brief description of what happened to you on the top of a paper. Now list every single thought or feeling you had toward that person. Be specific. There is no right or wrong answer because this is just between you and God, and feelings are feelings—they’re not good or bad. After you spend some time writing down everything, you can think of, talk with Jesus about that list. Tell him everything you are thinking and take a minute to listen to his response. Pay attention to how he prompts your heart. It’s okay to be angry or heartbroken or frustrated or resistant; but in the end, I hope you make the choice to trust in God’s wisdom and love. Listen to his guidance and begin to forgive and love the people that have wronged you. Remember—forgiveness is a process of letting go of your right to get them back!
- Being lied to will evoke anger in most people. Acknowledge it in yourself and ask God to show you a healthy way to express that tension and rage. You may be surprised at where he leads you. Often good ways to try relieving your anger is to exercise (everything from running to boxing to yoga); or try out some art like music or drawing, or even going out into a field in the middle of nowhere and screaming your head off! Try something you have never tried this week and while you do, pray for God to take that rage and remove it from your heart forever!
Read through this story in Genesis 29 and pay attention to who is lied to or about. Also notice how what the Lord does for each person. Consider why he chose to do those things and how the people involved were working with or against God’s purpose. It may make your understanding richer if you know that the ten sons of Leah and the two sons Rachel was eventually blessed with became the origins of the twelve tribes making up the nation of Israel. Never forget that God continues to work his purpose despite all of the lies, doubt, and betrayal that happens in the world.
Jacob Arrives at Laban’s Home
Jacob continued on his way and went toward the land of the East. Suddenly he came upon a well out in the fields with three flocks of sheep lying around it. The flocks were watered from this well, which had a large stone over the opening. Whenever all the flocks came together there, the shepherds would roll the stone back and water them. Then they would put the stone back in place.
Jacob asked the shepherds, “My friends, where are you from?”
“From Haran,” they answered.
He asked, “Do you know Laban, grandson of Nahor?”
“Yes, we do,” they answered.
“Is he well?” he asked.
“He is well,” they answered. “Look, here comes his daughter Rachel with his flock.”
Jacob said, “Since it is still broad daylight and not yet time to bring the flocks in, why don’t you water them and take them back to pasture?”
They answered, “We can’t do that until all the flocks are here and the stone has been rolled back; then we will water the flocks.”
While Jacob was still talking with them, Rachel arrived with the flock. When Jacob saw Rachel with his uncle Laban’s flock, he went to the well, rolled the stone back, and watered the sheep. Then he kissed her and began to cry for joy. He told her, “I am your father’s relative, the son of Rebecca.”
She ran to tell her father; and when he heard the news about his nephew Jacob, he ran to meet him, hugged him and kissed him, and brought him into the house. When Jacob told Laban everything that had happened, Laban said, “Yes, indeed, you are my own flesh and blood.” Jacob stayed there a whole month.
Jacob Serves Laban for Rachel and Leah
Laban said to Jacob, “You shouldn’t work for me for nothing just because you are my relative. How much pay do you want?” Laban had two daughters; the older was named Leah, and the younger Rachel. Leah had lovely eyes, but Rachel was shapely and beautiful.
Jacob was in love with Rachel, so he said, “I will work seven years for you, if you will let me marry Rachel.”
Laban answered, “I would rather give her to you than to anyone else; stay here with me.” Jacob worked seven years so that he could have Rachel, and the time seemed like only a few days to him, because he loved her.
Then Jacob said to Laban, “The time is up; let me marry your daughter.” So Laban gave a wedding feast and invited everyone. But that night, instead of Rachel, he took Leah to Jacob, and Jacob had intercourse with her. (Laban gave his slave woman Zilpah to his daughter Leah as her maid.) Not until the next morning did Jacob discover that it was Leah. He went to Laban and said, “Why did you do this to me? I worked to get Rachel. Why have you tricked me?”
Laban answered, “It is not the custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older. Wait until the week’s marriage celebrations are over, and I will give you Rachel, if you will work for me another seven years.”
Jacob agreed, and when the week of marriage celebrations was over, Laban gave him his daughter Rachel as his wife. (Laban gave his slave woman Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maid.) Jacob had intercourse with Rachel also, and he loved her more than Leah. Then he worked for Laban another seven years.
The Children Born to Jacob
When the Lord saw that Leah was loved less than Rachel, he made it possible for her to have children, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She said, “The Lord has seen my trouble, and now my husband will love me”; so she named him Reuben. She became pregnant again and gave birth to another son. She said, “The Lord has given me this son also, because he heard that I was not loved”; so she named him Simeon. Once again she became pregnant and gave birth to another son. She said, “Now my husband will be bound more tightly to me, because I have borne him three sons”; so she named him Levi. Then she became pregnant again and gave birth to another son. She said, “This time I will praise the Lord”; so she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.
Here is a clip from the Jimmy Kimmel show where parents all over lie and tell their kids that they ate all of their Halloween candy. The reactions are various and hilarious.